Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Just chillin'

Do you ever sleep so much, that you feel over-tired? Sleepy all day long, even though you just slept a good 12 hours? Ugh, that was me today. It was totally a no shower, hair in a messy bun shoved back with a headband, no makeup besides the leftovers from yesterday, and lounge shorts & tshirt day. But hey - I was comfortable, so I'm not complaining :)

My little one had her 9 month check up today! She is 18lbs 9oz and 29.9 inches long! She is WAY above average in height..which is hilarious because Jake and I are both short. Doc says she is very tall, not too sure who she gets that from, as I'm only 5'0 and Jake is 5'9ish. Little missy is gonna be taller than both of us by the time she's 10 if she keeps this up! She also has 8 teeth, compared to the average 2-4 in her age, lol. What a big girl! On a not-so-happy note, she has a slight ear infection and yeast infection in her mouth :( Either I'm a horrible mother for not picking up on it, or she's an awesome baby who was just putting up with it. She's had a stuffy nose for probably 2 weeks now - I called when I first noticed it & they said to continue suctioning her and cleaning her nose out with saline. Doc says the infection probably traveled to her ears, and the yeast infection is from all the drooling lately. So poor baby has to get 2 different meds now for the next few days. But besides that - she's doing great! She's right where she's supposed to be and doc said she was a pistol..yeah, no kidding! That kid has a personality on her. Oh, and when I left? I made her one year appointment. Her one year appointment. I can not believe that big day is going to be here in a little less than 3 months. Holy crap. It's depressing.

Anyways. I babysat my little brother tonight so my mom and step dad could go out for their wedding anniversary. We went to wal-mart & I finally got some ink for my printer (I've been out for 2 months) so I can finally get back on a roll with my scrap booking. I tried to buy a new USB cord for my camera (to charge it) but apparently I need to go to an actual Kodak store to get one, but I'm DYING without it so I was just going to buy a new battery..but they were out of that too! I was so mad. I need to figure out something by this weekend..there is no way I'm going to be without a camera for Abby's first 4th of July - and this blog will be MUCH more interesting once I have some photos to coordinate in with the words ;)

I made just some plain ol' hamburger helper for dinner. Then we went for a walk. Jake, Abby, Me, Jackie, Jacob, and Lexi did a little mini-tour of the neighborhood. We walked all around the courts, down the roads, down to the trails, and to the park where Lexi and Jacob kicked a random soccer ball around. We had fun but I think I was being too bossy to Jake and I feel bad about it now. I get carried away sometimes and accidentally treat him like one of the kids :( Sorry babe, didn't mean it. Abby started to get sleepy at this point so we headed back home. I layed Abby down to sleep at her swing at my mom's house & made some caramel and chocolate chip cookie bars - they were yummy! Jake went home to go to bed and Jackie and I stalked some people on facebook & gossiped like we were sixteen.

Mama strolled in around midnight & I had to wake my sleepy baby. I felt so bad, but I adored the way her little body clung to me and she layed her head on my chest and fell right back asleep..just like she did when she was a newborn. She passed out as soon as I layed her in the crib when we got home, still in her outfit from today & every thing. I've been debating since I got here weather to take her out & freshen her up a bit - put some Jammie's on her & a fresh diaper..but I'm just going to let her sleep. She's comfortable with her big fluffy blankie and her pacie, if she wasn't..she'd wake up, right?

Now it's 1:30am and I'm still up. I have to work tomorrow and I'm going to be oh so exhausted, so don't expect a post tomorrow night. I work the next day, I probably won't be posting too much that night either. Although Jake does have a softball game that I'm going to after work, so that may perk me up a bit. We'll see :)

Until then, I have bottles to make & a house to straighten up for my dear friend Christina who is helping us so much tomorrow by coming over to watch over my baby..our regular babysitter is on vacation and my mom has to work. Thank you, so much girl. We love you :)

Goodnight word..let's hope that I can stay awake tomorrow!

Health Care

Working in health care kinda sucks sometimes. You have to work ungodly hours, and some call the graveyard shirt the 7pm-7am shift. Well, not me. My 'graveyard' shift is my good ol' crack of dawn 7am in the spanking morning shift. Waking up at 5am sharp to rush to get myself ready, Abby's diaper bag packed, throwing things all over the house just to get to my mom's house by 6:20 to drop off my baby so I can make it to work by 6:55 (if I'm lucky) that is pure torture. I have never been a morning person, by any means, and I have trained my mini me to be at least a late morning person - when I'm home we usually wake up around 10, which is great. 7am? No way. As soon as Abby is old enough for it to work, your girl will be back on her 7pm-7am shift. Even though it probably won't be until she's in Kindergarten - I'm patiently waiting to start spending my mornings zonked out again. Good thing I only have to go through this 3 days a week.

(*EDIT: I am more than patiently waiting for the day Abby starts kindergarten. Good lord please don't let that day come too fast!)

Back on to why health care sucks sometimes. You are almost always overworked, and you don't get much of a break. Me? I get a 30 minute lunch, it never happens that way. It's more like run downstairs to the cafeteria, grab a drink and something you can eat on the go, stuff your face as quickly as possible and get back to work. You realize at the end of a shift when you finally get a chance to sit down, that your feet and back are throbbing, your dehydrated, your starving and your really have to pee. I drive home like a zombie and it takes all I have to not crawl right into that crib with Abby on my work days. Instead, after the little one is in bed I usually have some laundry to do, some cleaning up to do, and then I force my eyes open at least an hour longer so I can spend some alone time with my wonderful lover. Last night on my way home, I stopped at CVS to pick up "The last song" I've been dying to read it. It's not very often that it happens so I was unusually relaxed and excited when I got to crawl into bed with a new book. Yeah, didn't even make it past the first page. I just veg ally remember Jake coming into the room, taking the book from my chest, kissing me, and turning out the light.

So yeah, a job working in health care, a hospital at least is going to drain you to your freakin' core. No doubt about it. It's hardcore. & You have to be hardcore to follow through with it.

However. You'll have some days every once in a while when it all makes sense. Something happens that reminds you why you came into the field in the first place. That either makes your heart hurt, or it makes your heart makes you rejoice or cry, it makes you really step back and think about what your doing. It makes you happy to care for people, it makes you took this route in life and its an indescribable feeling.

It happened to me yesterday. This sweet (well, he wasn't so sweet at first) old man was in with a traumatic brain injury. The first thing you think of when you get a TBI? Great. They're going to be out of control. & That he was. He continued to pull off his gown and his oxygen. He tried to pull out his IVs, and scratched so much at his skin he was bleeding all over. He looked horrible. He tried to punch me once, grabbed me by the arm and pulled me down to the bed twice..he was hardcore. He didn't open his eyes once all day, he was in and out of sleep, and when he was awake I was the bitch from hell and I needed to "stay the fuck away from him" The day went on, and I learned more about him.

He was a good man. He was a good Samaritan and took two homeless men into his house, to give them some food and a place to stay for a couple days. Apparently, they stayed longer then expected, so he asked for some rent money if they planned on staying. They beat him up. Honestly, how the in the world do you beat up a sweet 70-some year old man, one who was trying to help you. It broke my heart, it broke my heart to know that he didn't have to be this way. He was a healthy, normal man..and was now severely brain damaged by some selfish soul.

At this point, he became my challenge. I was going to help him. I was going to make him feel better. I told him that I needed him to wake up, he didn't. I told him that I was going to help him get cleaned up, that I was going to make him look and feel better. He nodded his head.

I spent the next hour wiping his sweaty face off with a cool rag, cleaning all the blood off his body, putting a dressing on every wound he had dug into himself, I changed his bloody sheets and blankets, I put a fresh gown on him, I pulled his slumped down body up higher in the bed, and then I brought him some dinner...and then the unbelievable happened.

He woke up, he opened his eyes and asked for his glasses. He sat up in the bed, and fed himself dinner. He asked for a glass of water, and some chocolate pudding. He asked to watch channel two, he called me "baby doll" and he said please and thank you. And he smiled. He was a completely different person. He did a 360.

The other people on the floor said that's what he does. He spends all day totally out of it, then at evening time he wakes up and acts normal. But I'd like to think the little bit of TLC I gave him helped just a smidge too.

Those are the things that touch my heart, bitter sweet. He had no family, no one to take care of him..but that's why I was there. That's why I am there every day, to help someone who needs me. Weather they realize it or appreciate it, It's my passion and I enjoy it. People ask all the time "how do you do it?" That's how. You feed off those special patients who touch you in a strange way. A way that makes you look at life a little differently. It's inspiring. It's worth being ungodly tired 3 nights a week when I get home. It's worth waking up way before functioning hours. It's worth everything that it is and I can't wait to continue doing this for the rest of my life.

Monday, June 28, 2010


I edited it, but now it's a little too small. Oh well. Sheesh. Practicing all this html is going to give me a headache..

New Siggy!

Just added a signature to my posts. Kinda wish it was a little bit smaller. But, it works for now! Thank you to for the instructions :)


Ahh, a day spent running errands. For some strange reason - I don't mind hectic, running all over town, spending too much money days. Is that weird?

Weird or not, my little girl and I enjoy running around together keeping ourselves busy. We woke up for the day around 9:30am, had some breakfast (a banana for me, and some banana oatmeal for Abby - yummy!) and took a bath to get nice and squeaky clean. I did some laundry while little missy crawled around exploring our oh so amazing apartment. Then we were off!

We drove to my work to pick up my paycheck and I had to wake her up when we got there. I love my little sleepy girl. The one who fits so perfectly on my hip and rubs her tired little eyes into my shoulder, peeping around with one eye at all the people. Then we headed to Pasadena to cash the check and stop by my Mom's house. After getting my money I went to 711 to get some gas, and came across the old Iced Coffee machine. We lived in Pasadena when I was pregnant, and despite the dangers of drinking caffeine while pregnant - I craved those iced vanilla coffees like no other. Every once in awhile (with permission from my OB, of course) I would indulge in those cravings and it was oh so beyond words amazing. I couldn't resist - I grabbed the biggest plastic to-go-cup I could find and filled 'er up. Ahh, the memories of a pregnant summer 2009 :)

Anyways - I headed to the cashier with Abs on my hip, my giant iced coffee, and a bag of honey roasted peanuts when I noticed it was raining. No, not even raining..that would be an understatement. It was a torrential downpour. Out of no where! There I was, a baby on my hip, hands full and a whole parking lot to make it across. well, here goes nothing. So off we went. Sprinting across the lot, strangers staring from inside their dry cars, abby bouncing on my side with giant raindrops pounded on her poor little head..all I could think was dear god do NOT let me slip in these rubber flip flops! Well, he must of been watching out for me that day because we made it. I stuck Abs in her car seat and she just kind of looked at me like whats going on? She was soaked. Her car seat was now soaked. Well, its just water. It could be worse.

We made it to my mom's house & regardless how many times I tell her (and myself) we can only stay 5 minutes we always stay longer than 5 minutes. Abby always gets so excited to see her and my little brother, I can't stand to just snatch her away. So we visited for a while and dried off. I drank my awesome coffee and we watched the summer storm. I love summer thunder storms.

After mr.sunshine decided to make his appearance again we headed out to our last stop of the trip - good ol' Wal-mart! Abby drank her baba the whole time as strangers ooh and ahh'd over her as she smiled back and just melted everyone's heart. We got something for dinner, some apple rice for Abby, some new pillows for our couch, ink for the printer, and some other little gadgets that some how added up to a whopping $70. Like I said - spending too much money.

We came home and saw Jake and I made the most delicious tacos for dinner. We played, we took a bath, played some more and then it was nighty times.

For some reason - Abby hates, HATES her crib these days. She's been doing so good with it, her whole life! Now she all the sudden can't stand being trapped in there. She's been sleeping in her swing..can't figure out what it is for the life of me.

Nonetheless, it's bedtime for Mommy too. I have work tomorrow, wah!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day

First and for most: Happy Father's Day to all you devoted, hard working, loving, not-afraid-to-baby-talk, wonderful, and much appreciated Papa's out there! Enjoy your day fella's

Father's day over our way was a little boring this year. And I'm sad about it. I'm sad about it because it's Jake's first Father's day. He is such an out of this world Daddy that he deserves the whole world on this day. He deserves his favorite dinner to be cooked for him, he deserves to be told to go ride his 4wheelers and go fishing for the whole afternoon, he deserves to sleep the day away because he never gets to do it, he deserves a billion kisses from a mommy and little girl who love and appreciate him more than he knows, he deserves an unlimited gift card to Bass Pro so that he could go buy all the fishing and hunting gear he'd ever want, he deserves a vanilla ice cream cone dipped in chocolate, he deserves his name in shining lights and his face under a "best Daddy in the world sign" He deserves a mini weekend get a way, he deserves a camping trip on a lake. He deserves all of his favorite things. All of the things I couldn't give him today.

On this very first special day for my sweet man..I was working. I had to leave him at 6:30 in the morning. He had to wake up early with the baby and do all of the house chores. I didn't even have a card or his gift to give him because it apparently is on back order or something. It's not even here yet. He had nothing from me or Abby. It completely breaks my heart. When I realized Saturday that his gift wasn't going to be here..I should of went out. I should of went out and scattered things together to make the day special for him even if I wasn't going to be there to share it with him. I don't know why I didn't, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel guilty about it forever.

And do you wanna know why he deserves the world and more? Because he didn't even care that he didn't have it. Or at least he didn't let me know if he did. I guess my extra long happy fathers day kiss before I left this morning, the baby sleeping in an extra 2 hours, some crabs at his mom's house with the family, a million kisses when I came home, and offer to take him to the beach next weekend, watching his man shows with him and not complaining and the tub of vanilla ice cream from our freezer was enough for him. That is why I love him.

I've literally been crying the whole time I've been writing this blog, I don't even know why. I just wish I could explain how amazing he is with his baby, our baby, and you would understand.

When you have a child, they are your whole heart. They are your whole entire world and it's like you share a heart with them. Your heart aches for them when their sad or they get hurt and your heart is happy when their happy..when their smiling and giggling your heart smiles and giggles. When they cry, your heart cries. So..when someone who I in the past couldn't imagine loving any more..loves my baby the way he does, it just takes that love to a whole new level. An indescribable, busting at the seams, teary eyed, and knots in the belly kind of love.

Jake is only 21 years old. Where are most 21 year olds? Their out partying. Their out blowing money on things for themselves. They spend their time sleeping and at the bar. They have a different girlfriend every month and they can't imagine ever settling down. Even if their Daddy's..the majority of them will put themselves first..regardless the situations they get themselves into. Well, that's not my man.

He stayed put when he found out I was pregnant. He asked me to move in with him and assured me that everything would be alright, we'd get through it together. And we have. He rarely goes out and drinks with friends, and when he does I really shouldn't complain about it as much as I do. He deserves a night out with the guys here and there. He spends his money on us, me and Abby. He supports our family and I am so incredibly lucky to have him in my life.

Wow, when I started typing this up I did not plan on it being such an emotional post for me, but I've been bawling like a baby ever since I got to the second paragraph. I think I'll go crawl into bed with this great soul I've been talking so proudly of and remind him how much I love him.

Maybe this whole blogging thing is going to work out after all.

An introduction

I'm not quite exactly sure how you start these things..but I'm kind of excited about it. I've always been a writer (for personal entertainment, that is) and enjoyed it passionately over the years..after coming across many inspiring blogs after these past few months I have decided to start one as well. I'm iffy about it. I'm so busy & so scatterbrained..and I don't feel as though I'm very good with words (working on it!) so I'm not sure how successful my page will be. I tend to just burst out a bunch of thoughts and feelings into words that don't flow together so nicely. But, we'll see how it goes..right? Here goes nothing! Here's a little bit about myself to get things rollin'

My name is Brittany and I'm from Pasadena, Maryland - born and raised. My boyfriend and I just left home sweet home and got our first place of our own in a new town, a new place, new beginnings in Millersville, Maryland. It's a temporary spot..but it works for now. And we're happy.

Speaking of that wonderful boyfriend of mine, we've been together for 4 years (as of yesterday!) and he truly is all I could ask for. We've been to hell and back together..but we always pull through and prove to every one (and ourselves!) that we are rock solid baby, and we can make it through any of the troubles life throws us. As long as I have him by my side..I'm pretty sure the intimidation's of life will a little less scary and a little more lets rock this shit. Ya catch my drift?

Last year in late January, we found out I was expecting. It was un expected, it was un planned, it was a surprise and it kind of rocked our worlds to the freakin' core for a couple weeks. But, not surprisingly at all - we adjusted. We moved in together and took our relationship to the next level - we became parents together. It has been a challenging journey but an oh so blessed one that filled an empty hole in my heart, one of which I never knew was there until I held my beautiful baby girl.

That beautiful baby girl would be our Abigail Leigh. She was born on September 27th 2009 and is growing all too quickly. I never knew my heart was so big, I never knew it could hold all this love for this one little individual who I've only know 9 short months. She is a wonder, she is a beauty and there's not a doubt in my mind that she is going to do amazing things with her life someday.


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