The Family Man

First of all, I wish I had my camera SO badly! You have NO idea. I scrubbed our whole carpet (by hand!) the other day & I feel like it made our apartment look brand new. I moved some tables around and it gave our place a new and fresh feel. I'm impressed.

We finally kicked the heat on this morning, Abby and I have been cozy in our bath robes all morning and we had a Sunday morning family breakfast, French toast and eggs. (Thats a big deal in our house - I never make breakfast :D)

& With that said.. a movie Jake and I rented last night made all this cozy family stuff so much more enjoyable for me.

The Family Man

Some of you may remember this movie..it was filmed in the early 2000's. I was scrolling through on demands movies last night while Jake was scoping through Craigslist when I came across the movie. I remembered seeing it with my mom when I was younger, and I loved it. I've been wanting to watch a good Christmas movie lately anyways, so I bought it.

Its about a man (Nicholas Cage) who leaves his college girlfriend at the airport (he's leaving to an internship of some type in London) after she begs him to stay, forget their dreams..and just say. Get married, have a family, just be together. Regardless, he still leaves. They both move on, and he becomes a huge stock broker (I think) on wall street, becomes totally rich and stays a bachelor the rest of his life. He spends Christmas eve alone, and wakes up on Christmas morning with his girlfriend from college. Only their now married, have two kids, he works for her father selling tires, and live in suburbia. He gets a glimpse of what his life would of been if he'd never gotten on that plane 13 years ago.

It is a funny, romantic, dramatic, and heart breaking movie all in one. I would suggest it to anyone. Jake and I both enjoyed it - so its not too girly for your husband or boyfriend either.

But, my point is - the film totally opened my eyes. Jake and I sometimes ponder on the life "we could of had" if we did things the right way. I would probably be graduating this year as an RN, we would be buying our first house together in the next year or so, and we probably would of ended up getting married in the next 3 or 4 years. Or who knows? Maybe we wouldn't even be together. Maybe he would of met someone else. Maybe I would of went back to an ex. Maybe I would of went away to school. Maybe he would of moved to Florida with his best friend, like he always talked about doing. Its so easy to wonder what could have been.

If I was a single 20 year old girl, living on my own or with a couple girlfriends - and I got a glimpse of this life? I'm pretty sure I would of wished for this life. I would miss the wonderful and funny person Jake is if he wasn't around, and my heart would ache for this beautiful little girl waddling around a messy living room.

"We have a house in Jersey. We have two kids, Annie and Josh. Annie's not much of a violin player, but she tries real hard. She's a little precocious, but that's only because she says what's on her mind. And when she smiles... And Josh, he has your eyes. He doesn't say much, but we know he's smart. He's always got his eyes open, he's always watching us. Sometimes you can look at him and you just know he's learning something new. It's like witnessing a miracle. The house is a mess but it's ours. After 122 more payments, it's going to be ours. And you, you're a non-profit lawyer. That's right, you're completely non-profit, but that doesn't seem to bother you. And we're in love. After 13 years of marriage we're still unbelievably in love. You won't even let me touch you until I've said it. I sing to you. Not all the time, but definitely on special occasions. We've dealt with our share of surprises and made a lot of sacrifices but we've stayed together. You see, you're a better person than I am. And it made me a better person to be around you. I don't know, maybe it was just all a dream. Maybe I went to bed one lonely night in December and I imagined it all. But I swear, nothing has ever felt more real. And if you get on that plane right now, it'll disappear forever. I know we could both go on with our lives and we'd both be fine, but I've seen what we could be like together. And I choose us."

and I think that quote pretty much sums up what I mean.

Your life is beautiful, its good, your blessed, and you are loved - enjoy and indulge in it.

Go out and get the movie guys, its a good one. ♥

Simple

*My camera is being repaired, which sucks..I feel like these blog posts are incomplete without pictures. Bare with me for just a couple more days!*

The stuffy nose virus has hit the Dungan-Plumer household. Gotta love this time of the year :)

We've been slabbing on baby vicks and spraying little noses saline left and right. Mama & Dada have been loosing sleep to a restless little girl & popping cough drops and guzzling Dayquil. But, we're surviving :)

It's currently freezing in our apartment, I stole Jake's huge hunting socks and Jackie and I are hiding out on the couch watching Animal Planet. Abby and I had dinner at my mom's tonight with my Grandma, and had some really good laughs. It was a simple day.

But, that's what I need right now, simple.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who I plan on spending the rest of my life with. I have a beautiful daughter who completes me and everything about me. & A pretty badass best friend who is half asleep on my couch, but is fighting to stay up just to watch the lame animal planet with me because she knows I need her company. I also have some pretty awesome friends who live half way across the united states, ones who I am forever thankful for :)

Goodnight all.

Decisions

We all face challenges in our life. Every single day. Big challenges, small challenges..their always there & their always happening. Weather your deciding to let your daughter go on her first date, take the trash out or let it sit, or deciding to keep your husband on or off life support..we are always trying to decide on whats best. Sometimes we know whats best, sometimes we choose the easy way out.

But sometimes, sometimes you have to make a really tragic decision that rocks your world to the freaking core. Your decision haunts you for days, weeks, months, years..you wonder if you'll ever move on and if you can really ever be the person you once were before the huge decision making took place.

I get so caught up thinking about things like this..and it really just blows my mind. The things we do, and the way it effects us. I feel like life is such a bitch sometimes and no matter what you do you just end up miserable and never satisfied.

Life is really hard sometimes. Reality sucks, and you just might never be able to wrap your mind around certain decisions you've made. But most of the time? Most of the time its amazing, and most of the time theres a million other little things that make up for the crappy ones.

There is one little person in my life who is constantly influencing every single decision I make. She makes me think twice as hard, she makes me do the right thing, and she makes me smile 10 times bigger.

Theres also a bigger person who just never seems to let me down. Even times of sadness when I think he has actually let me down - he always just pops back up to prove me wrong. He is my backbone, my friend when no one else is there, my soul mate, my "tough skin" when mine is too soft to handle certain things, and my sanity. Together we created such a beautiful little miracle who keeps changing our lives every day.

Someday, I'll get married. Someday I'll finish school, and someday I'll own a house. But for now? We're doing just fine doing what were doing and I feel no need to prove that to anyone.

Needless to say - I've been going through some crap lately. Sorry I've been missing - I'm back. I am okay, and I am moving on from everything that I have been through, the best way that I know how. I may never be the same person again - but that's okay. I have learned, I have grown, and I am ready to deal with whatever life throws at me next.

October was just as glorious as I hoped it would have been. We celebrated fall at all costs & went out with a bang on Halloween when Abby acted like Ms. queen Bee and crossed her arms in the wagon & refused to talk to anyone. Her cousin Dillon went up to every house & with two buckets and said "Trick or treat! This one is for my cousin..she's the grumpy one in the wagon" She sure is a lucky little girl!

Now we're ready for the Holidays, and you better believe I'll be here posting away about them. My heart pitter patters at every sight and thought of Christmas & all the joy that comes along with it. I seriously got way too excited over the new Christmas decoration display at Wal-mart tonight and totally played its beginning to look a lot like Christmas when we got home & sorted through all the Christmas stuff we own. Yes, I am a holiday junkie. I have admitted this before.

Here's what we've been up to the past month:

Vocabulary

Sorry that I've kind of fallen off the face of the blogging world. Craziness (but the good kind of crazy) has been going down, but we're surviving! I will be back soon :) Here's a quick list of Abby's current vocabulary, I've been meaning to do this for a while!

Abigail Leighs Vocabulary as of October 23rd 2010, 12 months old

• Mama
• Dada or "Daaaaa-deeeee"
• Baaby
• Ab-nee (Abby)
• Naa-Nums (food)
• Naa-Niighs (bed time)
• Baaaah-byes (going bye bye's in the bye bye car, obviously!)
• Baba
• Dah -Dahg (dog)
• Mooooooooooo (cow)
• Meme (Meme! My Grandma, thats what we call her :p)
• Eye
• Nose
• Socks
• Bill-bow (pillow)
• Wha-sat? (whats that)
• Jat-ee (Jackie)
• Sass (Sam..LOL)
• Ball
• Peeeeeeese (please)
• Book
• Poo-poo
• Boo-boo (boob. I regret teaching her this. I had my shirt off once & she kept pointing to my chest & saying "wha-sat?"..now she points to EVERY ONES chest and says BOO-BOO! even her baby dolls)
• Wall
• Peeee-teeee (pretty)
• Fow-ah (flower)
• HOT (her favorite thing to say)

That's all I can think of right now, but she's doing pretty dang good if I do say so myself :)

Love birds to Boring parents

Trust me when I say that I have tons of pictures & memories to share with you..as Jake, Abby, and I had a very seasonal and festive weekend. Lots of stuff to come.

But, right now..theres something else on my mind that I just can't seem to shake.

Jake and I. I honestly adore him. He is my best friend and he knows me better than anyone. We have had a beautiful, but rough year together. I mean what do you expect? Major changes and road blocks were thrown our way. A surprise baby, moving out on our own, new bills..in just one short year, life as we know was rocked to the core.

For some reason, the past few days..my mind is wandering back to the old days. Before I was pregnant. Back when most days I woke up in my own bed, would set my alarm for 5am, get up..and drive to his house to cuddle in bed with him before he had to go to work, and I'd sleep there until I had to get up for college. Back when we'd just hang out at his house..we'd take naps, rent movies, did what ever the hell we felt like. Back when I'd always expect (and receive) a bedtime call around 10pm..and it was always so special to hear his voice. Back when we used to get into spats and I'd cry to my mom for hours until he would finally show up at the door asking to talk. Far, far back when..still in high school, when I had a curfew and we'd try to think of every way possible to stretch that 12pm as far as possible, just to be together a little longer. Back when we went on dinner dates 2-3 times a week, just for fun..and all the fun I had getting dressed up for him. Back when we would just drive..just the two of us, just because we had nothing else to do..and we would laugh, and talk, and sing until we were so lost we had to figure out where the hell we were & how to get back home.

I feel like I don't even know who those people are anymore.

Every morning, I do wake up in my bed..but he's always there, and he's always the one getting up & leaving at the crack of dawn to go to work..and I feel like if an alarm went off at 5am telling me to cuddle with him I'd throw it against the wall. We still hang out I guess you could say..but our savored naps together are history & we can usually never keep our eyes open to finish a movie. Theres no more bedtime phone calls...theres a quick kiss & a flick of the lights. Our spats now make our arguments back then seems so silly..we now argue over parenting issues, money, and who's taking the trash out..compared to oh, why didn't you call me when you said you would? Oh, and they last days..and he never shows up at the door step asking to talk..we finally just give in & scoot a little closer to each other on the couch & laugh it off. Theres definitely no more curfews & dinner dates are a thing of the past.

Looking back on the past year...it is insane how much has changed between us. Not in a bad way by any means..life is just so different. & While Abby is getting older and I feel like I can actually breathe a few minutes out of the day, it gives me enough time to sit back and ponder.

I think this is normal. I think a lot of couples probably go through this, especially when they wern't trying or prepared for a child. But, question is: how do you make both ends meet?

How can we be responsible & good parents, but still be the happy-go-lucky, young, in love couple that we once were? I know its possible..I see families do it every day. Its just getting back to that point.

The point where I can run up and jump on his back & he'd give me a piggy back ride where ever we were headed (granted that I've had a child and gained some weight since then, it may no longer be possible! ha ha) & the point where he'd tell me on a regular basis how hard he'd work to make sure that we'd always be together, and I'd miss him soo much at night that I would spray my pillows with his cologne...

Where the heck did those two sappy love birds go!?

Its like once you have a child, live together, and are basically married. He's always there, I'm always there. It's like we know we're both always going to be there..so we've lost the effort to try.

I could go on & on with this, and I probably will continue it because it just doesn't feel "complete" yet. But right now, I'm done for a bit. My mind doesn't feel like thinking and this is more complicated to word than I had imagined. *Sigh*

A Fall Survey

I saw this on my friend Devin's blog..it looked fun, so I decided to do it too! :)

1. Do you like Starbucks? Are you a fan of their seasonal coffees?
I LOVE Stabucks, and yes..I am a huge fan of their seasonal coffees! Pumpkin spice Latte is delish! Can't wait for their Christmas stuff this year :)

2. How do you decorate and prepare for fall?
Eh, I haven't done TOO much decorating this year..but I'm hoping to get some more stuff up in the next couple of weeks. So far we've hung an autumn wreath on the door, replaced our summer candles with fall scents (harvest apple cinnamon) & got a few mini pumpkins to sit across our entrainment center.

3. What is your favorite fall clothing item and or accessory?
Boots! Leggings, big comfy (but cute) sweaters, and scarves :)

4. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?
Probably when I dressed up as a 50's girl in 4th or 5th grade. It was soo cute, my mom & I worked really hard to make it look like the real thing :)

5. Do you like Halloween/horror movies? Do you have a favorite?
I do love them, but I am a total chicken. My favorites are The Amityville Horror and The Strangers, they both scare me to death, though!

6. What is your favorite fall activity?
Everything! I am soo in love with fall it is ridiculous. My favorite might be going to farms/pumpkin patches. I also really enjoy picking out Halloween costumes, for my daughter and for me! Also love all the fall decor and the first couple days of cooler weather, picking out new jackets & hoodies..sipping hot coffee at night watching all the halloween movies. Speaking of Halloween movies, awaiting the seasonal premiere of Hocus Pocus just MIGHT be another favorite! Ahh I love it all! :)

7. What is your favorite fall recipe?
Home made apple pie :)

8. What TV show are you most excited about this fall?
I was really excited for Dancing with the Stars & Greys Anatomy, but they've already started now. I guess I'm pretty excited for the new season of 16 & Pregnant

9. When do you start Christmas shopping?
Ugh, last year I didn't start until MID-DECEMBER. HUGE mistake. This year I want to start as soon as possible!

10. What do you miss most about summer?
Nothing! I am loving this season :)

12. What movie coming out soon are you most excited about?
I'm not too excited about any movies right now! I guess I'm pretty excited about that new Katherine Heigel movie, where she and the other guy are left custody of their friends baby..but I don't remember what its called

Can't get enough of it.

I'm sorry..I know I'm getting annoying. But I really just can't get enough of this

I must have been born in October for a reason. It's because we were meant to be, October and I. We fell in love on October 30th 1990..and its only gotten better since.

Abby and I took our first mini trip to a farm today. Papa Johns farm that is, just a little place right down the road from our apartment..but, we still had fun.

We ran through pumpkin patches, looked through fresh produce & said hi to animals in the barn.

For the sake of the season, we headed out with a bag of red delicious apples, a mini pumpkin that Abby picked out, and a fresh jug of apple cider. Once we got home, your girl right here attempted her first home made apple pie.

It tasted yummy..but it wasn't too pretty. Okay, it was freaking ugly. Which is why I am not posting a picture :) I got Jackie's approval though, she stopped by on her way home from work for a visit and thought the pie was eatable..at least it tasted yummy. & Speaking of cooking disasters, I bought GREEN meat from the grocery store tonight, ew! Jake has been begging me to make his favorite dinner for weeks now..ground beef & gravy with noodles. So, I finally gave in and was going to make it...and of course! I open the package and realize its green and sour. Gross. We settled with deer meat as a substitute, but I wasn't exactly satisfied with how it turned out. Jake liked it, but I think he was just being nice :p

In the world of Abby - she is totally excited about her new fish tank she got for her birthday! She comes up to me several times a day, reaches her arms up for me, and says "beesh! beesh!"..because she wants to go look at her new fishy tank! Its soo cute. & So is she :)

In the world of Abby con. - bedtime is no longer something she's a fan of. The little pistol was up until almost midnight tonight. We fought bedtime for almost 4 hours, it was emotionally draining for all of us. One time, I tried to let her "cry it out" for a few minutes, and she was crying so hard by the time I got in there that she could hardly catch her breath. It totally broke me, and I cried with her. I have NEVER seen her like this before. Finally, I turned out all the lights in the living room & we cuddled on the couch, watching Mickey Mouse. She was restless, and obviously exhausted..so, I tried one last time to lay her back down in her crib, and her eyes closed automatically. *Sigh of relief* Not for me though, for her. I tip toed out of her room and sat on the floor outside her bedroom for almost 10 minutes. Waiting to her a fuss, hoping she'd let herself sleep..all with my head in my hands & feeling so guilty about the whole thing. I know it wasn't "my" fault it was such a rough night, but I still feel so bad. I hope that she doesn't fall asleep and think I didn't want her or love her, I just wanted the poor little exhausted baby to fall asleep. I hope that she's not sick and I hope that she knows how much I love her, and how seeing her so upset tears me apart. I want to go into her room and pick her up, tell her that I'm sorry that tonight didn't go as smoothly as it usually does but I still love her all the same. *Sigh of mommy sadness* Tomorrow will be a better day, and in a lighter note - I sure hope this means we're sleeping in, in the morning!

Right now I'm sleepy..but I don't want to go to bed. I really miss having a TV in our bedroom. When we we're living at his mom's that was my lullaby..the TV. I never have watched too many shows, besides at bedtime..my whole life, I've never been able to sleep without it being on. So, going to lay in bed in a dark and quiet bedroom never sounds appealing until I'm out of this world exhausted. I usually toss and turn for at least a half hour, until I finally settle myself down to sleep. So, tonight..I'm going in to kiss Jake, and making a bed on the couch. The sliding glass door is open , its chilly and I have our warm quilt thrown over me, along with a cup of hot apple cider. My new "harvest apple" candle is flickering in the kitchen..and its unusually cozy in here. I think my heavy eyes & urge to watch TV are calling me now..

Goodnight :)