Daily Challenge: Day 1 and 2

My first day of The Daily Challenge!

Challenge #1 Jan 2 2011: Get a water bottle, canned veggies, or dumbells and do 10 curls on each arm.

complete. i used tomato soup :) didn't seem like too huge of a deal. but its better than doing nothing!

Challenge #2 Jan 3 2011: Share 5 things that are on your bucket list.

(I'm really excited about this because I've been planning on making a bucket list for my blog!)

1. Go horse back riding on the beach.

2. Achieve a college degree, in whatever the hell I decide to do with my life.

3. Cruise the Caribbean.

4. Be completely happy with my body.

5. Meet someone famous.

Did tomorrow's too since I'll be working all day!

Bringing in the New Year

2010 was...busy? crazy? hectic? stressful? yes. But also, was it...fun? yes. eventful? yes. enjoyable? you betcha.

Theres always one thing about each year that sticks out to me. 2007 was all about Jake. It was our first year together, his senior year in high school..his life was my life that year. 2008 was more about my friends and partying, also my senior year. 2009 was all about family, the year I got pregnant and met my beautiful baby girl.

I'm not sure what will stick out most to be about 2010. I'm thinking maybe our apartment? Sure, its just a little tiny two bedroom third floor apartment..but it was the first thing that was ours, together. Its crazy to think in two short months our 12 month lease will be up..and we will be moving on to a new place. Which we currently have no idea where that place may be, may I add.

I have lots of hopes and wishes for 2011. While this past year has been a little bit on the crazy side, I'm hoping that this new one will be a little bit more of a smoother ride.

We brought in the new year in the comfort of our own couch (and new electric blanket!) Abby called it an early night, and Jake and I cuddled until 1 am..until both of our eyes were burning so badly we could hardly stand it any longer.

We sipped cold beer and ordered carry out shrimp from seaside. We huddled under the blankets together and watched the new Ben Affleck movie, The town (which was awesome by the way). We hit "pause" at 11:45 and watched the Dick Clark NYE show until the ball dropped. We kissed at midnight and made our wishes for the year to come. Our fifth new years together.

I slept peacefully that night knowing that great things were ahead of me.

I am so excited about this year. I have no idea what to expect, but I kind of like it that way. We hopefully will be out of our apartment and into a house in two months, another beautiful season of spring and summer are right around the corner, and my 21st birthday is in the fall. I have some big dreams and hopes about my career as well, but I'm not going to post anything about that..I'm too afraid of jinxing it :p

This year I vow to: stress less, relax more. eat healthier and go to the gym more often. take college more seriously. make dinner more, instead of eating out. craft more because it makes me happy. continue being the mother I always imagined myself being. and get along better with Jake. Lets sell how I'll keep up!

With the new year here, I've decided to try the daily challenge to a healthier life. You should try it too!

Happy new year, everyone. I hope that all of your wishes and dreams come true this year!

In a funk.

I've started this blog post about five times now. I just can't seem to find the right words to start with. I can't put words together right now..my mind is in a funk. Its complicated to even finish this paragraph.

When all else fails? Make a list.

1. I absolutely and positively love and adore this little piece of heaven that waddles around my apartment all day long. My once little 7lb newborn is now a toddler in the making. She talks, she laughs, she plays, she "reads" books, she gives kisses, and she feeds herself with a fork. This past year with her has been beyond words spectacular. Why God decided to bless me with such a perfect little angel I will never know. I'm sure glad that he did, though!

2. My boyfriend is amazing. And I hate referring to him as "my boyfriend" because he is really so much more. When I say "boyfriend" I think of a high school boyfriend, or some guy I'm just casually dating. He is my whole heart, my best friend, my backbone, my daughters father, my soul mate, my lover, my Jakers, and the one and only person in this world who attempts to organize my crazy mind, and doesn't do too terrible of a job at it either!

3. I have said this over and over and over and over again..and I will continue to say it. I have the best friends in the world. Like..I'm pretty sure that their better than yours. I hear so many stories about young mothers who loose their friends when they become pregnant. I didn't loose one. Jackie, Sam, Whitney, Christina, Nicole, Chance, Chelsea, and Ryan..I love all of you and cherish my friendship with each and every one of you, totally and completely. I feel the need to say it now more than ever. I love all of you for loving my baby girl and being there for Jake and I through this whole journey and life we have made together. Its different from yours, but you still want to be apart of it. That makes us happier than you will ever know. I don't know what I would ever do if I ever lost one of you.

Random thoughts of today: I need to call Abby's pediatrician in the morning, despite the antibiotics, her ear infection doesn't seem to be healing. I am missing my blonde hair. I wish I had a day dedicated to sleep. Jake took down the Christmas tree today, I was sad. I'm so embarrassed by my car, I hate it. I want to buy a new dining room table and picture frames. I have to clean our bathroom tomorrow. We are moving in two months (holy crap). Abby will be a year and a half old soon (holy crap). I locked myself out of the apartment today and spent an hour beating on the front door, just to have to drive all the way to my mom's house to call Jake to tell him to let me in (I forgot my cell phone too). I want to go on a date with Jake, its been too long that we've gotten out just the two of us. I'm excited for college to start because it will be spring semester (spring? already?). I am extremely hot right now but I love my new electric blanket too much to turn it off. Jake cleaned the whole apartment today (besides the bathroom) which makes me very happy.

And this is when I come to that funk again, I don't know what to say or how to say it. So, I'm just going to be blunt - tonight was Alyssa's viewing. As if I thought it couldn't get more heartbreaking than it already was, it did. She looked just as beautiful as she always did. My mind is just in such a funk over it I just can't even stop saying it, I don't know how else to explain it. I don't understand it. Life or death. Why her? Why so tragically? Why on Christmas? Why two days before her birthday? Why?

Jackie and I pulled over on the side of the road to see her tree tonight. We stood there in silence, side by side in the freezing cold as cars zoomed past.

It still doesn't feel real. I hate driving down Tick Neck road now, and I had to twice today. Its like I have this constant pit in my stomach over all of this because I'm just so...heartbroken? Sad? Angry? Confused? I don't know the words.

All I know is...

I love my family. I love my friends. and I can't stop saying it. Driving is scary now. and I can't help but think this could be the last time i ever see them after a loved one leaves.

I am praying that Alyssa is resting peacefully and that her family and close friends are finding peace at mind...somehow, someway.

Tell that someone that you love just what your thinking of.

*Sigh* I've mentioned this before..getting behind on my blog gets me stressed out. I have two to three days to catch up on. So without further ado..

Christmas was spectacular. It was everything I hoped it would be. It was perfect. I am so incredibly blessed and thankful to be able to spend this holiday season with the ones I love most ♥

Santa brought Abby a new tent with a tunnel (which she loves, and plays peek-a-boo in for hours) a super cool bead maze (above) lots of new books, and much much more. Jake and Abby got me a new keurig coffee maker! Along with an electric blanket and a VS gift card. Abby and I got Daddy a new hunting camera and a deer jerkey cooker. We all made out pretty well!

We even got a white Christmas. The first one I can ever remember having.

We headed over to Jake's mom's house for her annual Christmas morning breakfast.

After we went home in time for a nap, a quick shower, and some time to play with new toys..we had Christmas dinner at Craig's (my Step Dad) parents house. Its the first year Jake and I have been able to go there on Christmas in about two years, so it was nice to re-live an old tradition.

It was an exhausting day. Our apartment still looks like a bomb hit it. New toys are scattered, new clothes and shoes and knick knacks are piled up on the kitchen table, boxes and trash bags are lined up at the front door...

but its worth. So, so, so, so worth it.

Its all over. The hype of the Christmas season is over. See you next year :D

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Sunday, the day after Christmas I unfortunately had to work. The news prepared us for days, for the "Blizzard of 2010" to hit us this day. I panicked, prayers, and gossiped with co-workers in hopes of NOT getting snowed in at the hospital over night.

Pssshh. We didn't even get an inch. Silly meteorologists.

I did however just so happen to leave my headlights to my car on, leaving me with a dead battery. I got to spend almost an hour outside in the blistering cold waiting for some grungy old mechanic named "Bill" to jump start my old cavalier. He insisted I got in his car to stay warm, but I refused. Convinced that he would jump in and kid nap me if I did so.

He finally got it started, though. I made it home with a bright red nose and aching and freezing fingers and toes!

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And while this week has been incredibly enjoyable and beautiful and perfect in all ways possible..I have to say its been pretty bitter sweet.

I just can't seem to shake the thought of Alyssa. (read previous post) She has been in the back of my mind and my heart just keeps breaking all over again every time I hear her name or see a picture of her beautiful face. I just try to keep praying for her family.

Every time Jake leaves now, all I can think is this could be the last time you ever see him. So I hug him a little tighter and tell him I love him twice instead of once. I tell him to drive safe and to give me one more kiss. I always feel uneasy when he leaves. Because really..now more than ever I realize you have no idea how long your life is going to be.

We held a candle light vigil in Alyssa's honor tonight. Today would have been her 20th birthday. We sung happy birthday to her, we held hands and prayed, and walked from the site of her crash to her house..to symbolize her going home. There was so many people who came to celebrate her life. At least 200. It was so beautiful and heartbreaking, all at the same time.

Alyssa..I hope that you know how many people are thinking of you and missing you today. Rest easy you beautiful angel.

Watch the video on her Candle Vigil here.

So tell that someone that you love, just what your thinking of, if tomorrow never comes..

Tragedy at Christmas time.

I am much too sleepy to write a full out lengthy post tonight. It is Christmas eve, I am happy, I am loved, I am excited..and today was everything that I hoped it would be. I will be back tomorrow to share along with Christmas mornings (CAN'T WAIT) activities and dinner with my Step Dad's parents.

However in the mean time, I'm going to open up a very sad chamber of my heart that was formed this morning. A friend of mine from high school was killed in a car accident last night. She was smart, beautiful, funny, and only twenty years old. She had her whole life ahead of her, and she's gone. Never got to get married or have a family...nothing I haven't seen her but once or twice since we all graduated, but I am so bothered and saddened by this horrible tragedy. She has been on my mind all day..it still doesn't seem real. Such a sad, sad phone call to receive on Christmas eve. I thought there must had been a mistake. Sure enough, it was not. I can not even imagine what her close friends and family are going through right now, my deepest prayers and thoughts go out to all of them.

Its a shame that something so sad has to happen to make you realize how very short your life could be, but it does. So..go kiss your babies tonight. Go give your husband or significant other a super tight squeeze. Spend some extra time catching up with each and every one of your family members tomorrow, you never know..this could be their very last Christmas.

Merry Christmas ♥

I think I hear those reindeer hoofs on the roof. Better get off to bed...

Christmas eve's, eve

*Yawn*

Eyes are burning. Room is dark. Early and long day ahead of me. I am sleepy.

I was just curled up in my warm bed, under my mint green comforter, all snuggled up watching Walk the Line. Jake was snoring next to me, and my eyes were starting to slowly close.

But then I said to myself. I have to get up. I have to get up and go write a blog post. Because I want to remember every single little detail about this Christmas.

So, here I am. & Its Christmas Eve's, eve.

It feels like Christmas. Some years it doesn't, some years your rushed and its August..and then you wake up the next day and its Christmas. It still feels like it came quickly..but it just feels right. I don't know how to explain it.

Its the little things. Frosty the snowman playing at the gas station this morning while I was pumping my gas, my scarf tied tight around my neck and my royal farms coffee steam filling the surrounding air. It was the nice man in a Santa hat at home depot tonight, who gave Abby a red balloon. Its anticipation and anxiousness to know whats in those big boxes with my name on it sitting so nicely under our tree..but even more so to see Abby find out whats in hers. (I almost cracked and let her open one tonight, but I didn't) Its the holiday movies that are playing on every channel. Its the hustle and bustle of rushing around and getting last minute gifts. It all feels so Christmasy..and I'm loving every last bit of it.

Jake was in the Christmas spirit this afternoon. He decided he had been a good boy this year and that he deserved a great big present for his self. He left here around noon in his 2007 Chevy Colorado..and come home in this:

A new GMC2500. I am happy for him. He has been wanting a new truck for s0 long. We loved his little brand new Chevy back when we were eighteen..but we had just simply outgrown it. It was only a single cab, meaning the three of us could not travel together in it. Which left my little old hunk of junk as the family vehicle. I am so glad that will no longer be the case. My trunk is broken, so everything that should be in a trunk (Abby's stroller, etc) is in my backseat on the passenger side. Behind me, is Abby's huge car seat. Its only a two door, so not only so I have to climb through all that stuff to get Abby strapped in, but Jake and I are hugging the dash board every time we all ride together. Such a relief that we have something bigger and nicer to ride around as a family in!

We were excited, so as most people who just bought a brand new car/truck do..we took a ride! We went to home depot to get copies of his new key made (and a new house key for me since I lost mine, oops) and we tried to stop by my Mom's to show her the new vehicle but she wasn't home. We also attempted to hit up Marshall's for some cheap picture frames but it was packed and Abby was having a meltdown in the backseat, so we decided to get Pizza Hut carry out and head back home.

Home. Is it just me..or is home so much more enjoyable to be in when its Christmas time?

Some friends stopped by to see Abby before Christmas and give her some early presents! Let the fun begin:

Have I ever mentioned that we picked the best God Daddy ever for Abby? Thats him, in the red shirt. Chance and Jake have been best friends since middle school, and not only has he been a great friend to us both..but he loves our baby ♥

Chance and Sam's gifts consisted of a new book, a new night light fish tank, and a princess ball pit!

We let Abby stay up way past bed time, playing with Uncle Chance and enjoying her new toys. Eventually the eye rubbing started and she became a bit snuggly, so we warmed her baba and laid her down..she was out like a light.

today was the first time we ever gave her a pillow. i'm still kind of nervous about it but..she loves it.

Now is where I ask for your prayers. Prayers because I have to finish 75% of my Christmas shopping tomorrow morning, on Christmas eve. Still somehow being able to make it to my Uncle's for dinner at 1pm. Yes, I am crazy. Which is why I need your prayers. Please and thank you.

Off to catch up on some much needed sleep. Goodnight, and happy early Christmas :)

Couch potatoes and Lights on the bay

I'm not too sure what it is about the Christmas season that makes us so lazy and couch potatoes - but it does.

We started our day early this morning. We kept the curtains shut, and we brought our pillows and blankets out to the couch. The coffee pot hummed, the Christmas tree was lit, and my sweet baby girl was all sprawled out across my lap..sucking her pacie and in a "Sunny side up show" trance.

Breakfast was a challenge, as lunch and dinner were as well. I'm not sure what is is about this cold she has, but its taken her appetite away completely. I got her to eat a bite of a waffle and a spoon full of maple oatmeal before she was screeching and squirming to get down. I called her ped, but he seems to think its just a cold..and to continue to run the humidifier and suction her nose. All fingers crossed for a better feeling baby soon, please!

Regardless of her sickness and empty belly..she found great fun out of some random house items after our attempted breakfast. A bowl, a book, confetti, and a pan lid. Oh, to be so easily entertained!

We crawled back into bed together after only being up a couple of hours. I cranked up the humidifier, heated up a baba, and grabbed her blankies. We snuggled up in my bed and when she just looked like she was about to pass out..I gently picked her up and carried her into her own little crib. Her hand quickly went over her eyes and she sucked her little bottle and fell right to sleep.

Me? I was finally going to watch the movie I've been dying to see. I popped in the DVD in our room and threw myself under the covers...and lasted about 5 minutes. I passed out and we slept until noon. My poor sick girl. But I have to say, I'm not complaining about all this extra sleep we've been getting!

Later on after seeing that she obviously was feeling better..and me getting a little bit of cabin fever decided I finally wanted to get out of the house. I didn't want to go any place too dramatic, with Abby being sick and all. I was stumped for quite a while..but then, it came to me. Lights on the bay.

Its a drive through light show on the eastern shore. Perfect I thought. Its getting out of the house, its fun..but its also warm and cozy for a stuffy nosed little girl!

She loved it. We pulled her out of her car seat and let her ride in the front seat with Daddy. 99% of the time she was more interested in the moon than the light show..but that was okay. She was adorable :D As she always is of course..

We came home afterwards and snuggled and played until bedtime.

And this is random. But when ever I change her diaper now she says "Ewwy, ewwy, ewwy, ewwy, ewwy, YUCK!" and it is hilarious.

& One more random thought...sometimes I feel like a bad mommy. I know I'm not, but sometimes I feel like it. Like today when she wouldn't eat her breakfast, lunch, or dinner and I got irritated with her. Or when she didn't want to take a nap earlier but I knew she needed it, so I let her fuss in her crib for awhile until she gave in. I know its "normal" and we all do it. But at the end of the day..when I know I have to go to work in the morning..and she's sleeping..

It makes me sad. Because tomorrow? She's going to be bigger. And I wasted precious moments being frustrated with a sweet baby who doesn't know any better..or understand why I'm aggravated for that matter.

I think I might have to go scoop her up for some late night lovins.

Happy Monday.